Saying Three

Proverbs 22:24-25

Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.

Don’t lend your name to someone else’s tantrum.

Identifying an angry man is not as simple as watching out for the local cat-kicker or red-faced road-rager. He is not usually on fire. More often, he resembles a neatly stacked crate of dynamite with a clipboard attached, just waiting for someone to sign off on the explosion. Bitterness accumulates inside him, compacting into a mountain of potential energy until, at the faintest whiff of sympathy, it all erupts in a tirade of righteous indignation.

Such men know from experience that if they constantly set themselves ablaze with the fire of their own discontentment, those around them take the strategy of ‘mark and avoid’, and their wrathful expostulations go to waste. Instead, they will draw friends and acquaintances into their circle of grievance with the grip of ‘restrained skepticism’, and then — in a we’re-all-in-this-together spirit — offload their pent up resentment in a way that is difficult to resist.

In so doing, angry men recruit others, especially the righteous, to their angry cause for the purpose of sanctifying it. They want well-known, righteous faces to be stamped upon their actions, giving it an undeserved validity.

For this reason, the saying warns against making friendships with such people. They are wily, subtle, and often very convincing — not by force of argument, but by presence and manner. They damage your soul, destroy your reputation, and over time, you learn to think of their behaviour as normal.

Putting names to faces, suppose you arrive at your workplace, and Smith the accountant is complaining again. No doubt he has good reason to complain; he always does. In fact, as you listen to the content of his tirade, you discover that you actually agree with it. But whilst you were willing to put up with the fact that the parking rules are unjust, and simply get on with your day, Smith saw an opportunity for warming the office up with his hot air. Quite well-reasoned hot air, to be sure, but still unmistakably the breath of fools.

Glancing in your direction, he notices you looking at him with interest. He calls loudly in your direction.

“Parker agrees with me. I can tell he does. Don’t you agree, Parker? It’s ridiculous.”

And you (for Parker is your name in this slapdash hypothetical) become rather uncomfortable. You do agree with the content of Smith’s complaint, but you believe his behaviour approximates that of an inebriated baboon.

So you say something like “the parking rules aren’t the best, are they” and try to get on with your work.

“Thank you!” cheers Smith, “Parker always has sense.” Then, careening around the office, he boasts freely of the fact that you are with him.

Even worse, when the lunch break comes around, he sits down beside you, slaps you on the back, and for the first time in months, asks you how your weekend was.

Don’t be sucked in, says the proverb. Keep your distance. Smith is a leech.

Scriptures for Comparison

1 Corinthians 15:33

Proverbs 13:20

Proverbs 14:29

2 Timothy 2:16

Psalm 1:1

Titus 3:10-11

Matthew 7:6